After awhile You Learn


by Veronica A. Shoffstall (1971)

After some time you learn the difference,
The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning,
And company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts,
And presents aren’t promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats,
With your head up and your eyes ahead,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn,
That even the sun burns if you get too much,
And learn that it doesn’t matter how much you do care about,
Some people simply don’t care at all.
And you accept that it doesn’t matter how good a person is,
She will hurt you once in a while,
And you need to forgive her for that.

You learn that talking can relieve emotional pain.
You discover that it takes several years to build a relationship based on confidence,
And just a few seconds to destroy it.
And that you can do something just in an instant,
And which you will regret for the rest of your life.

You learn that the true friendships,
Continue to grow even from miles away.
And that what matters isn’t what you have in your life,
But who you have in your life.
And that good friends are the family,
Which allows us to choose.

You learn that we don’t have to switch our friends,
If we understand that friends can also change.
You realize that you are your best friend,
And that you can do do anything, or nothing,
And have good moments together.

You discover that the people who you most care about in your life,
Are taken from you so quickly,
So we must always leave the people who we care about with lovely words,
It may be the last time we see them.

You learn that the circumstances and the environment have influence upon us,
But we are responsible for ourselves.You start to learn that you should not compare yourself with others,
But with the best you can be.
You discover that it takes a long time to become the person you wish to be,
And that the time is short.

You learn that it doesn’t matter where you have reached,
But where you are going to.
But if you don’t know where you are going to,
Anywhere will do.

You learn that either you control your acts,
Or they shall control you.
And that to be flexible doesn’t mean to be weak or not to have personality,
Because it doesn’t matter how delicate and fragile the situation is,
There are always two sides.You learn that heroes are those who did what was necessary to be done,
Facing the consequences.

You learn that patience demands a lot of practice.
You discover that sometimes,
The person who you most expect to be kicked by when you fall,
Is one of the few who will help you to stand up.

You learn that maturity has more to do with the kinds of experiences you had
And what you have learned from them,
Than how many birthdays you have celebrated.

You learn that there are more from your parents inside you than you thought. You learn that we shall never tell a child that dreams are silly,
Very few things are so humiliating,
And it would be a tragedy if she believed in it.

You learn that when you are angry,
You have the right to be angry,
But this doesn’t give you the right to be cruel.

You discover that only because someone doesn’t love you the way you would like her to,
It doesn’t mean that this person doesn’t love you the most she can,
Beacuse there are people who love us,
But just don’t know how to show or live that.

You learn that sometimes it isn’t enough being forgiven by someone,
Sometimes you have to learn how to forgive yourself.
You learn that with the same harshness you judge,
Some day you will be condemned.

You learn that it doesn’t matter in how many pieces your heart has been broken,
The world doesn’t stop for you to fix it.
You learn that time isn’t something you can turn back,
Therefore you must plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure.

You really are strong .
And you can go so farther than you thought you could go.
And that life really has a value.
And you have value within the life.
And that our gifts are betrayers,
And make us lose
The good we could conquer,
If it wasn’t for the fear of trying.



Seth Doyle via

by Marcia Sirota, MD:

Friendship, like many other things in life, can have an expiration date.

There are some friends who stay with you for your whole life but there are also many friends who come into your life and are part of it only for a certain amount of time.

Through our lives, we grow and change. Ideally, our friends will grow and change with us. As we mature, we develop different attitudes and different needs.

Some things that we considered necessities in the past become things we can do without in the present; some behaviors political views or religious affiliations that we could accept before become deal breakers, today.

We realize that some people act in ways which didn’t bother us so much when we were younger, but now these behaviors have become intolerable.

As we grow stronger, healthier and more conscious, we begin to see all of our relationships much more clearly. We identify the friends whose values we once shared but who we see today as just too different from us.

Sometimes we simply grow apart as we make life choices which put us in different social or economic circles. Some people choose a more traditional lifestyle while others opt for a bohemian way of life.

We can also get into conflicts or misunderstandings with an old friend. As we evolve and change, they might still be attached to seeing us a certain way. If they’re unable to accept the new, more improved version of us, the friendship can’t be sustained.

Music and Math

My favourite Glenn Marshall creation is a Peter Gabriel song that won at Prix Ars Electronica. This “generative animation piece created entirely with programming and mathematics in a meditative journey through the cycles of life” is a beauty to behold!



“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.”

Henry Ford

Taste Real Love


by Sarah Harvey [Excerpted from Elephant Journal]:

Real love is raw, pure and breathtaking in its simplicity.

It’s a spiritual adventure, a f*cking crazy journey, a completely transformative experience.

Real love dives deep, looks directly into your soul, sees exactly who you are—and wouldn’t change a damn thing.

It cherishes the deliciousness of every perfectly imperfect part of you.

Because mostly, it just wants to gaze into your eyes and kiss your soul.

And never stop kissing your soul.

It wants to ask, “How are you?” and listen to every single syllable of the long-winded answer.

It wants to know your secrets and your shame, gently peeling back each shiny layer to get to your core.

Oh, how it longs to peak at your luscious core.

Real love grabs on fiercely and holds you hard as f*ck, but is wildly unafraid to set you free.

It’s intensely compassionate, unfreezing even the most stubborn icicles in your heart.

It helps you heal without even trying.

It has the courageousness of a brave soldier and the softness of a nurturing mother.

Real love takes a shit with the door wide open.

It forces you out of hiding.

Because the things you used to hide are the things it admires the most.

Real love bleeds truth, honesty and talks about the things you’re too scared to talk about.

But, most of all,

Real love doesn’t walk off into the sunset, it walks directly into your life.

Geting to the End of the Story

This week’s guest post is from Stephen Parrish


Listen closely to the background music in any movie where there is a person who is destined to be a hero. I’ll use Star Wars here as my example. If you take note of Luke Skywalker’s inspirational theme (Binary Sunset), there is a sad and mournful quality to the music itself being played as it describes the character. I still get teary eyed every time they play that piece when a victorious Luke takes a torch to the body of Darth Vader on that funeral pyre at the end of Return of the Jedi. It’s a tear jerker for sure, and John Williams knew this. He knew when he wrote that musical score that we as an audience needed to hear that. It’s part of our journey.

Although Luke won his battle, finished his training and became a Jedi knight, and watched as the dark figure that was his father redeem himself by defeating his emperor, Luke still cried at that single moment when everything precious to him, everything he had ever wanted and hoped for and that meant the entire galaxy to him, in an instant went up in smoke and was gone. It wasn’t until Luke was reunited with his friends during the victory party on Endor that the music became upbeat and lively to prove to the audience that the good guys had won, that the bad guys had lost, and Luke could finally see the victorious outcome of his efforts when he witnessed his father victorious in the force. Cue the happy ending.

In this life, every one of us have our own personal journeys and must face our own particular demons so as to fulfill our own private destinies. To become the heroes. Just like Luke did during his final battle when he was faced with his decision being tempted to “join the dark side”, or to allow his pains to make him stronger. To fulfill him. To become the coveted “Jedi”.


Take notice of the soundtrack of your own life in that it is evident in how you live. As happy as you would like to be and to present yourself before the world, if you too could hear the music being played in your own back ground, you also would hear sad, contemplative sounds of a melancholic, lonely life that just wants to be loved. To find fulfillment. This is quite natural. And it is those quiet, silent melodies that gives to you the power of not only sympathy, but empathy with others. To share your stories so you might give rise to inspire the next generation. Yes, life is hard, but you must press on! you must endure!

We all need to let go of our worries and fears and not allow them to bother us, but we should borrow from them so that we will learn our lessons of value. When we embrace our fear, we overcome. When we embrace our hurts, we love more. Boy, do I have some sad stories to tell, but I’d rather you hear that which forges me into the hero I’m supposed to be. And likewise, I would like to hear that same thing from you. We all have to go through our own trepidations and darknesses, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death”, but it wasn’t meant for us to live there.

Being the kind of person that I am, I listen to the lyrics more than I do the tunes, and I’ve discovered a strange oddity in most of the songs that I’ve reviewed. That is that although the songs may be upbeat and get you moving, music that you can dance to, the majority of the words being sung are born out of personal struggles and of the artist themselves, questioning life. Which proves my point. Life is a paradox. We can’t really enjoy the happy without the sad. We can’t truly appreciate the truth without the lies. We need our tears just as much as we need our smiles. We need these things. Desperately! And it’s up to us. We can choose whether we will live happily ever after, or not. But to get to the end of our story, we must begin the journey. Expect the pitfalls and the heart breaks. Every one of us will experience them, no question. It’s how we persist and persevere through them that will, in the end, prove us to be victorious.

stephen parrish
Guest blogger Stephen Parrish