Purr-fect Partner?

“If you really want to find the perfect human relationship,
look for someone who is cat-like,
likes to be alone and happy to be with you,
happy when you are there and happy when you’re not there,
licks your face occasionally, 
will take all the scratching and petting you are willing to offer,
feels secure,
sleeps when it feels like it,
hunts when he feels like it,
basks often.”

dobby rose
Dobby, my Ragamuffin cat

“Are you a Cat Person?

Meditates regularly,
never feels guilty, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever!
Does emphatically what he wants to do,
is always glad to see you,
never cares when you leave…

Seems like the perfect partner.”

Source: Abraham-Hicks 

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Happy Relationships by Osho

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First become alone. First start enjoying yourself. First love yourself. First become so authentically happy that if nobody comes it doesn’t matter; you are full, overflowing. If nobody knocks at your door it is perfectly okay — you are not missing. You are not waiting for somebody to come and knock at the door. You are at home. If somebody comes, good, beautiful. If nobody comes, that too is beautiful and good.

Then move into relationship. Now you move like a master, not like a beggar. Now you move like an emperor, not like a beggar. And the person who has lived in his aloneness will always be attracted to another person who is also living his aloneness beautifully, because the same attracts the same. When two masters meet — masters of their being, of their aloneness — happiness is not just added, it is multiplied. It becomes a tremendous phenomenon of celebration. And they don’t exploit, they share. They don’t use each other. Rather, on the contrary, they both become one and enjoy the existence that surrounds them.

 

Conscious Relationships

yellow rose closeup
We are approaching a period of time when relationships are ready to go through a major redesign. The current paradigm isn’t working. People are unsatisfied in love; people don’t know how to make relationships work.

And, believe it or not, this isn’t a bad thing. Because when systems break-down, that’s when they change. I believe that’s what’s happening in the area of intimate partnership. The break-down is forcing us to move towards conscious love.

So what exactly is a conscious relationship?

It’s a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth. Individual growth. Collective growth as a couple. Growth that makes the world a better place.

As of now, most people get into relationships to satisfy their own personal needs. This might work for a few years, but eventually the relationship fails us, and we end up unsatisfied as a result.

But when two people come together with the intention of growth, the relationship strives towards something much greater than gratification. The partnership becomes a journey of evolution, and the two individuals have an opportunity to expand more than they could alone. Deep satisfaction and long-term fulfilment arise as a result.

So if you’re someone who feels called to take your experience of romantic love to the next level, below are four qualities that characterize what being a conscious couple is all about. Welcome to the path of the conscious relationship. This is next-level love …

1. The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship – growth comes first.

Not being attached to the outcome of the relationship does not mean you don’t care what happens! It also doesn’t mean that you don’t have fantasies about how the relationship will turn out.

What it means is: you’re more committed to the experience of growth than you are to making the relationship “work.”

The reality is, we’re here to grow. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When growth stops, we automatically feel like something’s gone wrong. Because it has. Without growth, we aren’t fulfilling our soul’s purpose.

Unfortunately, relationships today tend to stifle growth more than enhance it. This is one of the main reasons we’re failing at romantic love.

We want our partners to act in a certain way, we repress ourselves to please others, and soon enough, we feel small, oppressed and puzzled about who we’ve become. This, inevitably, makes the relationship feel like a cage that we want to break out of. But the unfortunate truth is: we’ve caged ourselves.

The conscious couple values growth more than anything else because they know this is the secret to keeping the relationship alive. Even though growth is scary (because it takes us into the unknown), the couple is willing to strive towards expansion, even at the risk of out-growing the relationship. Because of this, the relationship maintains a natural feeling of aliveness, and love between the couple does, too.

2. Each person in the relationship is committed to owning their s#*t.

Conscious couples know that we all have wounds from the past, and they understand that these wounds will inevitably be triggered, especially in a relationship. In other words, they expect to feel abandoned, trapped, rejected, overlooked and any other shitty feeling that arises when we bond closely with another person.

Most of us still believe that relationships should only feel good, and when bad feelings surface, something has gone terribly wrong. What we fail to see in this situation is that these shitty feelings stem from our own faulty patterning! These issues are not caused by our partners; they’re caused by our beliefs.

The conscious couple is willing to look at their past and current issues in relationships because they know that by facing these beliefs systems, they can evolve into a new relationship-reality. Dysfunctional patterns will dissolve, but only when we take responsibility for them, first.

3. All feelings are welcome and no internal process is condemned.

In a conscious relationship, there’s room to feel anything. Not only that, there’s room to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner. This is edgy territory… it’s not easy to do. But it’s also one of the most healing things we can experience in a partnership
It’s rare to be completely honest about who you are, and to stretch yourself to let your partner do the same. You may not like what you hear; in fact, it may trigger the hell out of you. But you’re willing to be triggered if it means your partner can be authentic.

Like I already said, we’re used to moulding and changing ourselves to please people we love because we don’t want them to stop loving us! This stifles the love out of our connections.

The only option is radical honesty: revealing parts of ourselves that are hard to share, and letting our partners do the same. This leads to feeling known, seen and truly understood — a combination that will automatically enhance your love.

4. The relationship is a place to practice love.

Love, ultimately, is a practice. A practice of acceptance, being present, forgiveness, and stretching your heart into vulnerable territories.

Sometimes we treat love like it’s a destination. We want that peak feeling all the time, and when it’s not there, we’re not satisfied with what the relationship has become. In my mind, this is missing the whole point of love.

Love is a journey and an exploration. It’s showing up for all varied nuances of your relationship and asking yourself, What would love do here?” The answer will be different every time, and because of this, you’ll get to grow in ways you never have before!

The conscious couple is fiercely committed to being the embodiment of love. And through their devotion and practice, love shows up in their lives and relationship in ways they would’ve never imagined before.”

Source: Shelly Bullard

Scarabs and Synchronicity

Last nite, I watched Cronos by Guillermo del Toro. This is a Mexican horror-drama movie with a refreshing spin on the usual vampire [read: blood] story. In the film, an alchemist created a golden scarab — a machine that gave the user eternal life. Admittedly, the flick was more entertaining than I expected and is now in my list of favourite horror comedies.

Cronos-1993
Cronos DVD cover

Today, I visited my favourite Metaphysical store Visions to check an item purchased for the store that I was looking for. The crystal turned out not exactly to my liking so I had to pass on it but something in the store did catch my eye. Since I was also looking for a wear-able moonstone, I’m now the proud owner of the sterling silver scarab pendant pictured below. The beetle pendant has garnet head, which reminds me of the sun, and a moonstone body, which reminds me of Khepri.  Khepri is among the oldest of Egyptian Gods; he moved the sun into the sky every morning. Khepri (morning sun) was said to be an aspect of Ra (midday sun) and was represented in Egyptian mythology as a scarab-headed man.

scarab moonstone garnet
My lovely scarab pendant

The scarab is powerful ancient symbol of creation, rebirth, and renewal. For me, it’s a reminder that the Universe likes to make inside jokes with me by revealing synchronicities like this film and this pendant in the sequence presented. I appreciate the new necklace I have and I love the balanced energy emanated by the moonstone and garnet combo 🙂

What True Love Does

super closeup rose

True love does not just choose one person. When true love is there, you shine like a lamp. You don’t just shine on one person in the room. That light you emit is for everyone in the room. If you really have love in you, everyone around you will profit — not only humans, but animals, plants, and minerals. Love, true love, is that. True love is equanimity.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Making Meaningful Moments

How fun can it be?
How much fun can I have in the process?
How many fun-filled friends can I meet along the way? 
How much fun can we have while masterminding together?

I flow on this joyous river,
and I experience the exhilarating feeling
of motion toward my JOYOUS expansion.

~ Abraham-Hicks

children playing

Looking through my Facebook feed earlier, I found the quote above shared by one of my fave people there. Since it’s the new year, I feel there’s a palpable energy in the air. It could just be me being excited that spring is coming!

I love when the season turns and it gets brighter outside. I love warm weather! Whereas some people may experience SAD [seasonal affective disorder], I can empathize because I experience something akin to wanting to just stay-in a lot in the winter. Yes, I would go to gatherings and do social events but normally, they are gatherings inside places with central heating or inviting fireplaces! 🙂

On cold, winter nights, I find myself making good use of things like saunas, steamrooms, and heated indoor pools. As much as I love playing outdoor tennis, I limit myself to playing only when the ground is play-able. On days when it’s too slick or dangerous to play [like the courts having too many icy patches], I focus on weight training in the gym, alone. I find this wards off the seriousness I feel over the holidays.

Ultimately, that is what I enjoy — the camaraderie and the sharing of a meaningful moment with someone. That someone could be my partner, my students, the many random people I meet while playing outside, or the people I know from my tennis group that I see weekly during practices. That someone could also, and is often, myself! You see, I enjoy my own company that I enjoy being alone, public or otherwise.

I sincerely believe that life is about weaving together a series of meaningful moments. These moments can be silly, serious, fun, enlightening, playful. These moments can be found while you are alone, running at park, reading a book at a café, sharing a smile with an attractive stranger on the Skytrain, or sharing a joke with colleagues during your lunch break.

The point is, you make these moments, because you are a creator. Creative life force flows through you and people are magnetized to you by your energy. If, like me, you’re happy with what you’re getting, then please continue what you’re doing! But if you’re less than satisfied, figure out what makes you happy/happier, and then do that. The new year is the perfect time for starting new habits.

I hope that you find these meaningful moments. Make some great ones! 2018 is about making new memories, meeting new friends, and experiencing as much joy as you can. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you! Happy 2018!!!

Bearded Dragon Diaries

Jubjub was feeling affectionate today and hopped onto my shoulder for some cuddles. For scale, I’m holding a plushie keychain to illustrate the size of this reptile. From head to tail, he is now the full-length of my arm! He’s grown from a wee hatchling to a healthy, curious, alert, and wonderful, eight-year-old beardie! Happy hatch day, Jubby!