What True Love Does

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True love does not just choose one person. When true love is there, you shine like a lamp. You don’t just shine on one person in the room. That light you emit is for everyone in the room. If you really have love in you, everyone around you will profit — not only humans, but animals, plants, and minerals. Love, true love, is that. True love is equanimity.

Thich Nhat Hanh

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Making Meaningful Moments

How fun can it be?
How much fun can I have in the process?
How many fun-filled friends can I meet along the way? 
How much fun can we have while masterminding together?

I flow on this joyous river,
and I experience the exhilarating feeling
of motion toward my JOYOUS expansion.

~ Abraham-Hicks

children playing

Looking through my Facebook feed earlier, I found the quote above shared by one of my fave people there. Since it’s the new year, I feel there’s a palpable energy in the air. It could just be me being excited that spring is coming!

I love when the season turns and it gets brighter outside. I love warm weather! Whereas some people may experience SAD [seasonal affective disorder], I can empathize because I experience something akin to wanting to just stay-in a lot in the winter. Yes, I would go to gatherings and do social events but normally, they are gatherings inside places with central heating or inviting fireplaces! 🙂

On cold, winter nights, I find myself making good use of things like saunas, steamrooms, and heated indoor pools. As much as I love playing outdoor tennis, I limit myself to playing only when the ground is play-able. On days when it’s too slick or dangerous to play [like the courts having too many icy patches], I focus on weight training in the gym, alone. I find this wards off the seriousness I feel over the holidays.

Ultimately, that is what I enjoy — the camaraderie and the sharing of a meaningful moment with someone. That someone could be my partner, my students, the many random people I meet while playing outside, or the people I know from my tennis group that I see weekly during practices. That someone could also, and is often, myself! You see, I enjoy my own company that I enjoy being alone, public or otherwise.

I sincerely believe that life is about weaving together a series of meaningful moments. These moments can be silly, serious, fun, enlightening, playful. These moments can be found while you are alone, running at park, reading a book at a café, sharing a smile with an attractive stranger on the Skytrain, or sharing a joke with colleagues during your lunch break.

The point is, you make these moments, because you are a creator. Creative life force flows through you and people are magnetized to you by your energy. If, like me, you’re happy with what you’re getting, then please continue what you’re doing! But if you’re less than satisfied, figure out what makes you happy/happier, and then do that. The new year is the perfect time for starting new habits.

I hope that you find these meaningful moments. Make some great ones! 2018 is about making new memories, meeting new friends, and experiencing as much joy as you can. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you! Happy 2018!!!

Bearded Dragon Diaries

Jubjub was feeling affectionate today and hopped onto my shoulder for some cuddles. For scale, I’m holding a plushie keychain to illustrate the size of this reptile. From head to tail, he is now the full-length of my arm! He’s grown from a wee hatchling to a healthy, curious, alert, and wonderful, eight-year-old beardie! Happy hatch day, Jubby!

On Looking

baby lizard

Q’ero Tribe of Peru:

Looking behind, I am filled with gratitude.

Looking forward, I am filled with vision.

Looking upwards, I am filled with strength.

Looking within, I discover peace.

Relishing My Pastries

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Pastries from Aroma Bakery in Burnaby

Most of you know, I do intermittent fasting which means I skip breakfast so that I can do fasted workouts. I don’t always eat pastries, but when I do, I eat it only for lunch. This pic shows what I had for lunch earlier this week. From left to right, you are looking at a cream-filled dark chocolate eclair, a napoleon which is a Russian-style mille feuille, and 2 cream puffs!

I woke up the next day still f*cking sexy. It’s possible to eat what you want when you eat clean 80-90% of the time, workout smart and keep yourself in vibrational alignment with things, people, circumstances that keep you feeling good.

#HappyFriday #pastries #SOML

Dream Big Dreams

When you allow yourself to begin to dream big dreams, creatively abandon the activities that are taking up too much of your time, and focus your inward energies on alleviating your main constraints, you start to feel an incredible sense of power and confidence.

Brian Tracy

Ricky Kharawala art
Ricky Kharawala via Stocksnap.io

 

Healthy Intimate Relationship Key

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by Matt Licata, Ph.D

I’m often asked: what is the best way I can prepare for a healthy, deeply satisfying intimate relationship? How can I attract the right partner for me — a person who I can travel with on the journey of the heart, and is truly interested in exploring relationship as a crucible of healing and awakening?

There are many responses to these sorts of questions – workshops to attend, lists of 10 “secrets” to attract your perfect soul mate, 12 steps to manifesting your twin flame, and so forth. It can be important to experiment, with openness and curiosity, any approach that you feel drawn to.

The suggestion I usually make, though, is not nearly as sexy or compelling, or all that fun or flashy: learn how to take care of yourself. Learn how to practice radical self-care, self-kindness, and self-compassion. For to the degree that you are able to take responsibility for your own vulnerabilities and core emotional wounding, it is to this degree that you will release your partner from this burden, which is not his or hers to carry.

So what does it mean to “take care of yourself” in this context?

By “taking care” of yourself, I mean becoming very curious about your emotional triggers, about the feelings you do not want to feel – about your addictions, habitual behaviors, and how much you complain about and blame others and the world for your existential flatness, dissatisfaction, rage, and profound feelings of disconnection. Be willing at times to travel underneath the narrative, the very compelling story of ‘me,’ and make experiential contact with those emotions and sensations that you have abandoned – and at times are seeking in your partner. Make a commitment to stop complaining about your life and instead provide a sanctuary within you for your feelings, emotions, hopes, dreams, fears, and fantasies to unfold and illuminate.

Practice being kind to your feelings and emotions and you will naturally be kind to those intimate partners that are sure to trigger them in you. As long as we are looking to our partners to fulfill those functions that were not offered to us as young children, it will be difficult to come into a fulfilling, loving relationship that is not riddled by the pain of projection. Your partner is there to help you, to support you, but not to take care of or parent you. They were not put on this planet to do your work for you, but to skillfully support you as you turn toward, meet, and metabolize what has been knocking at the door of your heart for so long.

Perhaps there is no “secret” to co-creating a fulfilling, supportive, mutually beneficial intimate relationship, as it is always in the end, a movement of the unknown. Intimacy is not something we can come to, figure out, or “solve” by means of conceptual and egoic process, and may never, ever be resolved into a magical formula. But by learning to take care of yourself, you are creating a foundation upon which the mystery of intimacy can unfold, dance, and come alive within you.